Dr. Earl Wilson
Meet us on Facebook
Introducing Dr. Earl Wilson’s new video series Especially for Men
After posting his first Blog “The Logo Has a Lot to Say” (see bottom of page) about the Tuff Stuff Ministry’s logo, and continued curiosity about the name, Earl responds with this new Blog:
What’s in a Name?
We often get asked, “Why do you call your ministry Tuff Stuff”? The answer is easy. Engaging in compulsive, sexual behavior (sexual addiction) translates into tuff stuff for those who make those choices. Please excuse our liberties with the spelling. In the midst of the tuff stuff in which we involve ourselves through bad choices, there is the loss of old certainties while the future screams in anticipation of pain. Broken relationships begin when we start to wander off…following our individual appetites. We distance ourselves from God. Once the secret life begins, lies and deceit impact all other relationships. Recovery and restoration are never easy. We wonder if what we have broken (the broken me and the broken relationships) can ever be repaired. Is there any hope? We at Tuff Stuff Ministries believe that there is hope, and that the broken can be redeemed, but we know it will be a tough journey.
What’s in a logo?
Our logo features metal being refined, the dross…the impurities…being removed, and the stronger metal ready for re-formation and a whole new purpose. We believe, and we have experienced that when we turn to God, He will refine us and make us stronger. He invites us to cooperate with Him in this process. Our logo invites you to participate in this relationship and experience His refining love that will give you a brand new life. Hidden in the heart of the logo is the cross, for it is only the cross that can truly remove the dross. We pray that our logo will continually remind each of us that in Christ there is hope and that in Him all things can become new.
Sex is not a Commodity
Danger! Sex is not a commodity. It’s not to be bought, not to be traded, not to be sold. It’s not even to be used as a bargaining chip. It isn’t? Then, what in the world is it?
It is a relationship which God intends to be enjoyed by husband and wife as a part of the marital commitment to each other. It is also a part of God’s design for keeping the earth populated and providing the security and gratification of family. Sex outside of marriage, even sex with self, changes the meaning of sex so that it becomes a commodity.
God is all about relationships, and He intends the same for us. He wants to relate to us, and He wants us to relate to each other in love, respect, and trust. As we relate to each other in these ways in marriage, the family, and in our fellowships of believers, we show reverence for Christ.
So what does God intend for our sexuality other than procreation? Celebration is the word that comes to me. A husband and wife have the privilege of celebrating on a regular basis the fact that God has put them together and declared them one. God uses this “we’re one” union to illustrate the relationship of oneness He created between Christ and the church. In Ephesians 5:32, Paul calls it a profound mystery. We get to be there for each other, and each time we are there, we can remember the oneness we have with Christ and how much He has been there for us and longs for us to rely upon Him. We can cast all our care on Him, for He cares for us. Think about how wonderful things would be if we had the same kind of closeness and interdependency in marriage.
Even though the Bible doesn’t make a statement about masturbation, C.S. Lewis makes this important observation: “For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. . . . After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.” – C.S. Lewis *
Sex with self may carry the same sensation, but it certainly doesn’t have the same meaning. Treating sex as a commodity also changes the meaning. Instead of saying, “I want to celebrate with you,” it says, “I demand that you give me what is mine.” Oops, there goes the relationship right out the window.
I recommend that instead of demanding our rights to each other’s body, we live to create an atmosphere of mutual celebration…an atmosphere in which love can freely grow. Demanding sex is treating sex as a commodity and is disrespectful of your spouse. We can and must do better than that! As you build a relationship where celebration can flourish, remember God’s encouragement: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God…as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 4:32 – 5:2
In His mercy,
* Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3
Tuff Stuff Ministries
The Logo Has a Lot to Say
In the spring of 2002, I was presenting a paper at the “Super Conference on Sexuality,” sponsored by the American Association of Christian Counselors. Much of the content focused on the negative impact of pornography upon our society in general and upon Christian leadership in particular. I felt led of God to try to do something about it. When discussing my concerns with a friend and fellow church member Erin Hogan, Erin said, “That is a tough ministry”. From that conversation “Tuff Stuff Ministries” and the logo were born.
As the logo shows, there is fire; there is a pouring off of the dross; and thus there is purification of the precious metal…you and me. All this happens within the context of God’s refining love which is represented by the cross and the red which represents the shed blood of Christ.
The verses which inspired the logo are found in Zechariah 13:9 and Malachi 3:2-4.
“And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’” Zechariah 13:9 ESV The context of Zechariah 13 is cleansing from sin.
In Malachi, God’s word tells us that after refinement, the offering will be pleasing to the Lord. “But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord. Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in former years.” Malachi 3:2-4 ESV
When you view the logo remember that God loves you so very much, and He’s ready to help you stay pure.
Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®),
copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2013 tuffstuffministries.com. All Rights Reserved.