Dr. Sandy Wilson



(503) 307-0535




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Lessons I learned along the way…

In these videos, Dr. Sandy Wilson offers support for wives who have been betrayed by their husbands.


From the heart of Sandy Wilson:
My husband Earl and I are retired therapists in Portland, Oregon.  Several years ago, we started Tuff Stuff Ministries mainly to deal with sexual addiction and to help the spouses.  I work a lot with women whose husbands are sexual addicts.  My goal in this video series is to let you know that if you have been betrayed by your husband, I want to be a source of help for you.  Some of the topics I’ll be covering are areas where I see us getting stuck as women.  Since I walked through this myself, I will use personal illustrations.  I will share my story with you with the prayer that the Lord will use what I have been through and what I have learned as a source of support, comfort, encouragement, and direction for you on your journey.

If you have questions, please E-mail me:

My husband Earl has agreed to answer any questions as to what was going on in his life during this process.  Please feel free to E-mail him:


*Because there is some very descriptive language, these videos are not appropriate for children.


My Story
In this video, I share my personal story of the betrayal of my husband, the impact it had on me, decisions that I made, and the steps we began to take.


Our Reaction to the News
When we discover that we have been betrayed, we generally go into a state of shock.  We don’t know what to do with what we’ve just heard.  It’s pretty overwhelming.  I’ll share some reactions we may experience and offer you some reassurance, comfort, support, and direction.  This is not your fault!


Are you feeling angry?  Guilty?  Fearful?  Anxious?  Confused?  What do you do with the wildly fluctuating feelings you are having?


What are boundaries, and why are they needed?  How do you draw a boundary, and how do you stick to it?  What do boundaries look like?  How can I change my husband’s behavior?


Forks in the Road
Do I stay, or do I go?


I thought Earl was having an affair for years, but he always denied it.  Why did he let me go through all of those years thinking I was crazy because I thought he was involved with someone else?  That was the hardest thing for me to forgive.  What are the consequences of refusing to forgive?  Is it important to be specific in forgiveness?  How do we answer those who immediately ask, “Well, have you forgiven him?”


How Do You Ever Trust Again?
Is it possible to trust again?  How long does that take?  What are the stages of rebuilding trust?  What do I need to do to start trusting him?  How do I know if he’s sincere?  If I stay, how long will it take for me to have feelings for him again?


How to Take Care of Yourself
For those who have been through the betrayal of a spouse, it is life-draining.  How do you ever survive that devastating blow?  What are some things you can do to help yourself get through this?


Where is God?
Why did God let this happen to me?  Are you mad at God?








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